SCREW YOU.

so i'm really thankful for this blog.

although, since so many people know about it now, it's no longer as private as it once was. i think i'll just make a new one or something.

came to a realization today.. rather than solving my problems, i feel committed to help and solve others' problems. regardless if it hurts me, or not. however, by doing so, sometimes i regret doing this. i get this is just one of those two-sided slaps. i feel good at that one moment, but after it, i feel horrible. and i feel like i've just screwed up a potential part in my life. i don't know why i do this, but i do.

so does this make me a bad person? b/c i'm selfless for not caring about how i feel to help others, but once i finish that deed.. i immediately regret it, wishing that i didn't say what i said, i didn't solve what was just solved. i'm already such an unstable person, yet i help others to make them far more stable and better than i am. this just doesn't make any freaking sense.

that being said, this sucks.

this effing sucks.

yeah. well, after sleeping, tomorrow, i'll be happy and stuff, because i have to be. it's not right if i'm not, because then i'll affect other people, and i just can't do that, now, can i?

yeah. this sucks. why'd i do this.. why am i in this drama again?

SCREW. YOU.

alright?

i no longer want to be the "good friend."
i no longer want to be the "cute asian kid."
i no longer want to be the guy that has to help others while hurting himself.

YEAH. well, no more mr. nice guy.

SCREW YOU.

YEAH.

SCREW YOU.

all of you.
If only you knew how bad you made me feel.

WELL I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

so editing an hour later. i .. screamed a lot. at people. of course, i let them know beforehand so i guess it's okay. haha im still puzzled on why i do what i do, but maybe the answer will come one day. i hope everything works out..

you promised, angieeee. :P

btw, mentioning the laura the pedo here. b/c she's just such a great dangling olive. ;) BABIES!