The slippery glass meets spiderman 3..

Something I realized recently past these days is.. how indecisive I am. It's a horrible quality, but I guess it's something I can improve for the upcoming year.

Btw, it's 4:34 am right now. Grr.

So.. today, at dinner; just like a normal one.. we open a bottle of sparkling grape juice. We've been having this frequently .. as it's always a festive occasion since relatives are over, haha. ^_^ But today was different. Today, we had sparkling white grape juice (my favorite) but the different thing were the glasses we used. Typically, we just poured it in whatever cup, mug, glass we could find. But today we used .. actual glasses.

And these glasses.. they.. scared me. My glass was already wet, probably from being washed or something. And after I poured in the sparkling juice, I had to grab the glass to move it to where I was sitting, right? But .. the moment of holding that glass -- it was so weird. I felt like I had no control. And I think it's something I absolutely despise -- having no control over a situation. The glass, wet of course, was so slippery -- I was afraid to drop it, I was afraid for it to crack; I mean it was glass.. It was just something so .. different. I felt like I had no control over what was going on and it was a horrendous feeling.

This glass.. is a lot like life and the decisions we make. Sometimes, we just can't take control of our life and we'll just let our life run and flow like.. water.

I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday night. Couldn't figure out what electives (sciences, particularly) to take next year. So I asked Amaya. It was .. a great conversation, but I felt like I was bouncing back and forth, back and forth between physics and biology. I really just don't know. As whimsical as it sounds, it can relate to what happened yesterday as well. Marble Slab w/ Tricia -- I had no idea what to get. What flavor ice cream, what mix-ins.. it was confusing. I love having options, but I'm so bad at narrowing them down.

Another scenario that happened yesterday night. My oratory. So many mini-ideas floating around everywhere, it's just so hard to cut them down and pick the best ones. I guess it's helpful and hindering to have a quality such as mine; I'll overanalyze and figure out which option is the best, but then I won't be able to choose the best option (without regretting it later). Btw, oratory is done and I'm feeling really confident about it. Hopefully I'll final. ^_^

It sort of makes me sad. But it's something I can work on next year. Maybe I can just start drying the glasses beforehand. Maybe.

But we can cleanse ourselves. As I wrote in my oratory, water is a cleanser. If we can use it to fog up the mirrors in front of us, we can use it to cleanse what we want to be cleansed.

Life is a lot like water. I wrote an English journal entry on this. We'll flow sometimes, but then we might just freeze. But someway, somehow, if it's frozen, it's gotta melt. And.. if you're feeling quite frozen right now, don't worry. There are people out there to give you warmth. And acceptance. I'd be happy to be one of them. It's like rain. It cascades onto us. Like cascading rain. =]

Also, finished watching Spiderman 3. Absolutely amazing movie. Why is it that I overthink on every movie, trying to figure out why it ties in and relates with me in my life? >.<>

Ending scene of Spiderman 3 was the most powerful. It was with so much emotion, it was truly spectacular. Add to that the AMAZING orchestrated music.. it was truly touching and moving.

Peter Parker: Hey, pal. How you doing?
Harry Osborn: Been better.
Peter Parker: We'll get you through this.
Harry Osborn: [shakes his head slowly] No.
Peter Parker: I never should have hurt you... said those things.
Harry Osborn: None of that matters, Peter. You're my friend.
Peter Parker: Best friend.
(Harry closes his eyes, and dies.)

As I read that now, I can already hear the piano background. So powerful.

I love how in the beginning of the movie, after Harry gets amnesia, when Peter & Mary Jane leave, the nurse is like "Lovely friends." Foreshadowing, eh? Harry replies.. "I'd give my life for them." And he did.. he gave his life and sacrificed himself for Peter. It just shows how important friendship was to Harry; and how important Peter was to him. They were truly best friends.

As Peter said at Harry's funeral:
"No matter what comes our way, no matter what battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. My friend Harry taught me that. He chose to be the best of himself. It's the choices that make us who we are and we can always choose to do what's right."

I feel truly content now. And it's 4:44am.

Good enough for me. (Happy New Year's Eve everybody!)

- Gary