exterminating the green-eyed monster.

philosophical entry? maybe.
personal entry? definitely.

today, the green-eyed monster made its debut. it scratched and growled its way out of people's souls, allowing them to outbreak emotions that many had never seen from that person. it slashed friendships, it scarred thoughts. it decides to unleash its power to make sure it would get what it wanted. yes, this monster popped out today, not only in the people around me, but .. myself as well.

so what is the green-eyed monster? well, i'm personifying it but it is actually.. jealousy. the emotion, the element in humans that can supersede human thought and logic, and totally change a person's will, a person's attitude, a person's character. of course, i don't think this monster has fully been summoned on my behalf, but deep inside, i can see it telling me things in my thoughts. "why are you friends with this person?" "why do they overreact?" "why don't you just tell them to STFU..." the monster speaks, oh yes it does. it speaks of nastiness, of horrible things, of wretched actions and reactions.

but yet, i will not allow this monster to overtake me. i will not allow this monster to take the best of me, ruin the relationships i have already made, and allow myself to become overemotional. JEALOUSY, it is time to exterminate you.

and there are simple actions that can be implemented. for these, i will try. first, let other emotions supersede jealousy. happiness, carefreeness, joy, jollity. be optimistic.

do not allow jealousy to overcome you! you are a human! you are a human being and you can change yourself to fit YOUR OWN NEEDS. this green-eyed monster has no power if you will not let it control yourself. take initiative. don't let jealousy hurt any part of your life. you're stronger than the monsters.

when i was young, i was told that monsters that were "under my bed," ironically though i don't have an "under my bed," were afraid of LIGHT. shed the light. do new things, do the opposite of what this jealous monster is telling you to. then maybe, just maybe, the monster will devolve. devolve and weaken -- because you are stronger.

allow the green-eyed monster to fade. fade away until all it is is a speck of light. a speck of light that you can blow away with your mouth and lungs. just one woooooosh, and it's gone. take the initiative and shed the light.

i'd like to share that today, my away message and statuses bothered people. "sick -- but not health-wise, people-wise." "i'm annoyed and i have no one to talk to about it." unfortunately, i feel uncomfortable talking to people about it if.. they are the ones who bugged me. (and trust me, you guys didn't..) eh. i got over it. it was just a period in my life.

besides, i can beat the green-eyed monster with my pikachu. :D

btw, i had a good day today. i did well on my grades, except compsci, but then again, it's compsci. strings was fun, got into emory (OO PRIDE!!), and yeah.

i'm also a baritone. pretty cool if you ask me. i like singing. oh, let it snow let it snow? this love has taken its toll on me..

sigh, it's just those moments that you want to tell the person what you're feeling but if you do, you know it's inappropriate. you know it's callow, you know it's just plain dumb. so you don't. and the monster frowns. but you're grinning inside because you did the right thing. and as the monster weakens, you strengthen yourself. the ode to friends actually could be a part of that, you're "jealous" of those qualities that you want them so bad. however, that part doesn't apply to me. speaking of the ode to friends, please continue to guess and read it.. much appreciated.

yes, you strengthen yourself.

"hey, this is my friend, the green-eyed monster.
i don't want to be his friend anymore."

- nocturne xx