coping with loss

well, unfortunately, i am not the 22nd honorable youth governor (for 2009) and when i first found out, it sort of ruined the rest of my day. i did let it get to me, but then again, after you work hours and days on campaign materials and slogans and everything, then ask for other people's time and effort, and use a ton of your parents' money -- wouldn't you feel the slightest bit dampened?

--

so reina is the only southside representative of the "five leaders" of youth in government next year. i honestly feel that if i had run for any of the other four "easier" positions, i would've won. basically everyone said they would support me regardless -- i just so happened to be running against "the" marshall g. terry. and i'm glad he won, because he is experienced and from what i know of him and his policies, he will be doing his best to improve YIG. i do wish that he would attend reflections and stuff like that, and i just don't want it to be like "i wish i was up there cause i know i would be able to do all of this and all of that.."

after we packed and i head downstairs, with a ton of bags and such, i saw mary when i walked out of the elevator. i immediately dropped off my stuff with the southside kids and approached her. i gave charlotte capers a candycane (ah she's so cute!) and then later mary talked to me about the election. basically, she told me straight up that she was disappointed in the voting, that she really wanted to work with me and is sad she won't be able to work with me as MUCH as she wanted to, and that i am one of the "finest young men" she has ever met and she knows that my leadership will be needed in the future. i started to bawl. and she gave me a hug and it was just so endearing and in a way, i felt that i had let her down. if i spoke to nine more people, then maybe the outcome would've been different.

but this is all a statement of "what if's" and "what could've been's." right? so on the bus, i was sort of gloomy, fell asleep, and just didn't really like the perkiness that everyone had. then again, everyone was happy that they were going home, reina was the official secretary of state, and mr. wong was just jumping off the walls and stuff being his happy-go-lucky attention-grabbing self. and i hated every last minute of it, but i just quickly closed my eyes, my ears, and off we went..

when we arrived at southside, i started to cool off.. and just the atmosphere of like.. wetness got to me or something and i just felt better. took a few pics with the yig kids, one with mr. wong and then headed off home. told my rents about the "eight vote" conflict, and how i really wanted to ask for a recount. i don't know if i still want to do that though -- but eight votes as the difference: closest youth in government sc election ever. and yeah. i kinda feel proud for that since no one though i would ever have a shot with terry, but i ended up making our gap a measly amount of nine people [nine that i think i could've easily gotten but i just didn't get it together].

i went online, started to rant, and the more i talked about it, the more i realized that -- it isn't that big of a deal. i mean, i did my best, i learned a LOT from this experience adn even though YIG wasn't as great as it was before, just knowing that i had basically gotten all the undecided people's votes, that all the resource staffers wanted me to govern, that the middle schoolers were chanting my name and wanting to take a picture of ME, and that mary capers bledsoe, the official youth in government advisor wanted ME to be the youth governor -- i think that really means something. after all, at least 49% of the delegation had me as governor in their mind. and most of them are people that i might've said a minute of words too. marshall pretty much had the majority of the delegations [and their advisors] with him at the start. i just had to slowly magnetize them.

unfortunately, that eight votes did eliminate me from the race, and i am not the youth governor. however, it doesn't stop me from being a leader, and being able to help youth in government, and talk to mary and all of this stuff. i wonder if mary could invent a position for me.. that would be pretty darn freaking awesome. if not, then.. i'll deal. i mean, i can't do much now unless a lot of kids from not-southside find out about this eight-vote rumor and email mary, asking for a recount or something. that would be wicked.

but it's all power in numbers. and in the end, we're all wearing these hawt navy blue long-sleeved shirts. it's a standard that we all share in common.

E PLURIBUS UNUM: Out of many, one.

I'm not that "one" Governor. But I'm that "one" guy who 49% of the voters wanted as Governor. I'm that "one" guy that the resource staffers adored because I showed maturity by trying to clean up the Marriott. I'm that "one" guy that the middle schoolers look up to because I told them that they were amazing individuals for getting into politics this early in their lives. I'm that "one" guy that Mary says is a fine young man and a leader that she knows she will need in the future. I'm that "one" guy who has some amazing friends who used all their energy and their vocals to campaign for me, and it really did pay off. I'm that "one" guy who still loves Youth in Government, and will find a way to get a leader's position. Maybe the unofficial governor. That's not a bad title either.

I learned a lot from this. So much more than I could imagine.

- Gary Fan
22nd Youth Governor Candidate
Lost by 8 Votes
Was the underdog that swapped the voting division from 80 to 20, to 51 to 49. Something to be proud of.

Yeah.