well i guess i'm already dead.

so a lot of people have told me this year that i'm doing too much. that i'm pushing myself toward boundaries that i can't exceed, that i'm reaching for goals that i'm not supposed to or able to reach, or that i'm in the process of overkilling my body.

well to everyone who thinks that -- [screw you].*
*profanity is bad. tehe.

i'm doing all this because i can. and i know i can. what i'm lacking in right now is some time management, and probably wasting my time talking to these people that don't believe in me is causing excess pressure that isn't needed.

sure, there is gonna be lack of sleep involved. but we've ALL already suffered from that. i'm gonna complain. i'm gonna whine. but then again, you already do that too. and i've got twice the workload as you -- TWICE. and yet our complaints are about at the same caliber. you complain about one subject's homework.. i complain about two. and the lack of sleep. and all the extra stuff i need to do. and yet.. i feel like i'm getting more out of it.

overkill? well, if it's overkill, then it looks like i've already killed myself. and if my body can't go on anymore, then i've got ultimate freedom. overkill just doesn't make sense. i'm stressing myself, but i do well under stress. and i know when to take a break.

in the long shot, i'm gonna be learning from these once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. running to be a state's youth governor. being able to open people's eyes about "awkwardness." making the school which i thought was one of the best places on earth better. i want to better the school, after all -- the school has bettered me.

and if you think that's too much, then i'm glad you're laying off from it. because we need people that want to do things to take charge. you can just stand on the sidelines and cheer while you just get one or two additional hours of sleep.

i'll take one or two additional hours of satisfaction.

after i complete my jobs, of course.