hey buddy!

it's been a while. i mean, things have just gotten so busy. i'm sleeping at 9, waking up at 2.. doing homework and studying till 5 and then getting a quick 1 1/2 hour nap before heading off to school.. to rinse and repeat.

sometimes i feel that all the stuff i do for people, for the school, for the world just isn't appreciated. for some reason, something just keeps me going -- i don't know what yet, but i hope i find out soon.

although i feel proud and accomplished when i tell people i'm planning on going into business and people give me an approving nod or smile, one little part of me still thinks i should take the risk and try out the music industry, or the world of theatre.

college applications are due in 20 days and i am behind behind. we have a four-day weekend this week though and i plan on not only catching up on the days that i'm off, but finishing an application or two.

bob jones is this saturday and i am too excited. for the first bob jones of the year.. i'll be fully prepared in all three events. it gives me.. a feeling of comfort. i am ready to kill it, as a senior and as a co-captain. go southside!

the pep rally was last friday; so was spirit week. it was great being a senior -- we're on top, we know it and we love it. i love my senior class -- well.. a good amount of them anyway. we've definitely cliqued up since freshman year but there's still some unity in us all. if not, i've still got my friends that have my back.

i've realized, through the college admission process.. the competition of it all, i really appreciate my friends. sometimes i'm an obnoxious bitch to them and sometimes they're annoying to me, but in the end, i know i can rely on them and i hope they know that they can rely on me. these are the kids i know i will stay in touch with when i'm 30 and married (or 30 and touring? heheheh).. we'll be getting together sometime, with a fail of a class reunion. it'll be nice.

i felt really adult-like and cool when i was at the hughes library today.. wearing a sharp polo and some cool white shorts, with my sunglasses and hip trendy messenger bag -- keys in hand, i felt older. empowered. it was a good feeling.. though with age comes responsibility. it's nice being able to drive and have that freedom.

grades are going good -- i'm doing well in all my classes, raising that TOK grade up and keeping everything high on their marks. i need to work hard in chemistry this year or else it'll turn into a "AP computer science A" or a "AP calculus BC" and we all know what happened with that. i'm working on it -- i don't want to let myself down, or mrs. shoun. she tries so hard.

the SAT was saturday. i felt it was pretty easy -- easier than the others, but then again i usually overpredict myself and i fall short. i hope this time i don't because it's the one that really matters and it's my only chance. from what i've "Analyzed" i'm in a good fit right now. i just hope luck is on my side. (and math curves. haha.) afterward, i hung out wiht judy, angelica and dylan at panera bread and we ate, and then talked.. for about an hour or so. it felt so short yet time went so fast. this is the kind of moment that we'll have when we come back and unite during college, it feels. we'll recap of the good ol' days and then talk updates on life. it feels like i'm disconnected with a lot of people since everyone has their things to do and so do i.

it's been like a month and i still haven't cleaned my room. oops.

i volunteered yesterday too and it was great. lots of fun. it's always nice to be thanked by strangers.

i guess that puts an end on the catching up, buddy. hope to stay in contact with you soon -- everything's just crowding up on me..

new song: TTL (time to love) -- one of the best songs of all effin time.

oh, and the international festival is gonna be effing epic this year. i never realized how hard it was to be a choreographer. but it's a blast. creativity oozing out the yin yang!